From the Pub Owner's Daughter, With Love.

Dad has officially opened a new pub in Ipoh called Senor & Senoritas. A nice pub where it can be pretty relaxing and enjoyable. I wasn't too sure if I could bring myself to chill at my dad's pub for the longest time, because a part of me used to grow up with the 'older' pub Sid's Tavern. There were loads of horrid memories I had in the 'older' pub. Some memories I wished I could erase, some memories that I'd cherish.

I do have to say, and I'm not bragging. My dad knows just too many people in Ipoh, you'd be surprise sometimes just sitting at a restaurant so many people would greet him. "Hey! Brother! How are you? Long time no see!" Those were the typical greet my dad. But the thing that always made me realized from my dad is.. Not all are true friends. True friends are those who stand by you through thick or thin, true friends are those who slaps you in the face and say.. "Will you stop being such a b**ch!!" Those kind of friends, and because of that. Growing up as a teen was hard on me. Backstabbers, Betrayers, Liars, Rumors it's all in a daily life of a teen honestly.

Going to dad's 'older' pub was always a living hell. I hated the old 'itchy' man who were all drunk and all up in your face and all. Gosh, I swear I had this 'don't you dare come near me' face whenever I went there for drinks later on the years.

Last night, along with my now.. 'Fiancee' we headed of to dad's new place. This time, I realized I have actually grown so much from it. Honesty moment here, I HATE CLUBS. A friend once brought me to the most (no offense) 'Lala' club and it was really.. A nightmare and a disaster for me and I vowed never ever to go clubbing ever again. So I ended up pubbing most times. I think that's a better way then clubbing. (Stupid dancers!) So back to dad's pub.

I met so many people, all dad's old friends. Well, of course none of them recognized me because after 17 I left Ipoh. (with a heavy heart) All of them were going. "Your so grown up! Look at you! Your so beautiful now!" I wanted to show of the Fiancee so introduced them all to him. Everyone of them were telling him.. "Better take good care of her! She's a catch there!" Really? Am I? How would you know that? I mean let's be honest here.. When was the last time you saw me?

(Now let me just say this. I left Ipoh at the age of 17 was because I felt very insecure. My future was then unstable, I could not decide what future I wanted. I wanted so much that my parents could not afford, I wanted so much that others had and I didn't. I had to leave Ipoh to find my own strength, my own independence and to run away from all the haters. I have no regrets on leaving Ipoh or Malaysia.)

So back to meeting them old folks. (Don't get me wrong, they are still older than me and as a respect I do call them uncles and aunties.) Somehow I decided to take a step back and look at this whole situation. 6 years ago, my reaction to them would be.. "What the hell is wrong with these people? Do they have no life? or *ugh* They sicken me". But as time flies by, I realized I've grown so much to be able to accept them being who they are and being kinda like.. "I know you since you were a kid.. You were like this and that.." I do have to admit it, I did have fun listening to them make up stories of seeing me as a kid.

I just got back from visiting my old house at Ipoh Garden East. I loved that house. Loads of things happened there before. Things I cherish, things I don't. Rotten eggs thrown at my house when I left Ipoh for good.. Dad and mom never told me about those days, they thought it would have hurt me a lot. But as I turn 24, secrets start to enfold themselves.. I think I could start writing a story of my personal life. (Ya right) Then again, I look back.. Things have changed. So much. Things where I'm thankful for now. I'm proud of what I have achieved and there are so many people out there who are also proud of what I have become.

Then I realized yet again. How I have grown.. From the Pub Owner's Daughter to a Casting Director, Model, Performer. My past is the past and will always be the past. Give me time to forgive but DO NOT expect me to forget. But my past helped mold me to become a better person. And honestly, how many of you can say that you had a horrid past and became a better person? Then again, those who used to give me a sucky miserable life.. All I have to say is.. I pray for you. =)

Oh and honestly. Growing up I can officially say.. I've moved on.. And no matter what, I'm proud of what my dad is doing. His worked hard to be where he wants to be now.. And, I'm always proud and willingly admitting I'm proud to be a pub owner's daughter. You have a problem with that.. Talk to my lawyers. They'd be willing to sort it out on my behalf. =p

Till then, there will be more post soon and less emo talk. But I just wanted to voice out. For once.

~* Clare Chiara *~