7 Day Blog Challenge: How You Changed Throughout the Years.

Today I will be blogging on the go. Currently on set shooting, but again.. Count my blessings being able to blog while on set. Also, it will somehow get a little bit too emotional. 

Day 6. This blog post, there will be very horrid pictures of me in the past. So, today.. let's talk about how I changed. (Hardest Post EVER!!) 

I was born 5th August 1986. And let me just say I was the cutest little munchkin ever. (Self praise is no praise.) So here's a picture of me. Being cute. *alalalallalalalalallala*

My family was the most loving family. They brought me up with a lot of love care and patients. Throughout the years they taught me so much and I truly value every single part of growing up as a child with them. 

I could honestly say I had the best childhood ever. I was brought up by my grandparents, spent most of my life with them. They have always been my inspiration, my motivation. And now.. my guardian angels. 

Now begins my ugly moments. Growing up as a teenager, we learn a lot about emotions and change. For a girl especially. It is quite common that teenagers experience all this kind of emotions. In a way, I am prepared to teach my teenage daughters. 

I never knew anything about make up. I never knew much about fashion or what to wear. See, those days.. (WTH?! I sound old.. ) we never had internet and I never had a computer till I was 17! So the  photos you are about to see... *sigh* yeah.. 

I will just let you guess which one is me. Hah! Last time, I used to be a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl. I never wore clothes that I wear these days. Damn even my bra was dirt cheap yo! Cause I didn't know nuts about fashion!! And as you can see by now, in my high school years.. I was pretty much... UGLY.

Most of my friends I made have left a lot of footprints in my heart. Some whom I still cherish and love, some who continue to journey on with me in life. My most memorable friendship would be the girls from my choir team. We journeyed together in terms of gossip, bad mouthing, talking about boys, studies, love, tears and hard work. Life all of a sudden was pretty much easier when we were together all the time. 

At the same time, as a teenager.. there was a lot of drama going on. (Don't want to really go into details here.) I did not know how to handle my life and things around me was going into a spiral that I became very depressed. It was to the extend my grandparents had to send me to a psychiatric. And later on, my shrink diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder. There were times I was happy one minute, and  the next thing you know I was in my room with a knife trying to cut myself. I felt fat, I felt ugly, I felt like as if nobody loved me. I felt unwanted.. (Continue on, the story gets worst.) 

College was one of those times where I slowly learnt to understand my purpose in life. Things took a huge change. I had a new batch of friends, I learnt how to apply make up. (Which that time was just powdered foundation and eyeliner.) I started to learn more about love and boyfriends. There will always be those boys who hurt you and leave a huge scar, but then again.. There are always boys who love and adore you treating you like a princess and end up messing with your life. And as you slowly grow older, you realize.. boys are just too immature and you fall for men. And the next thing you know you meet the men to share your whole life with.

The worst time of my life was loosing my loved ones. It was the hardest thing ever for me. That was when my Bipolar Disorder got worst.. I would pop pills into my mouth, I would cut myself and just kept on harming myself.. I was so upset God took away the people I loved that I felt unworthy of living. Everything was just not worth anymore. I would end up in the hospital often, fall sick often to the extend  I popped all the pills my shrink gave me. But things changed slowly, I didn't want to be sad all the time.. I wanted to be happy and joyful. I wanted to forget all the pain I was going through.. And then I met my husband.. Things started to change when I met Le Hulk Hubster. He knew my past, he knew what I needed and yet he continued to love me and giving me a heck lot of support and love. Till today. I kept questioning how could a man still love me knowing that I was going through so much in my past and ongoings. But yet, he stood by me he chose to not give up on me and he chose to support me. Yes, love starts to change a person somehow. I think the biggest stepping stone he did for me was going to see a shrink with me. Hah. 

As I continued my journey in life, things were taking a huge change and I realized that in life we needed to go through a lot of changes to experience and grow, to slowly learn to understand our purposes in life. To finally take a step back and realize, your past made you who you are today. And when you realize that you look at life differently. You want to be able to put footprints in another person's life instead.  

So how I changed.. My past has actually made me who I am today. My past has molded me and changed me in many ways. And the most important thing that I learnt was that when another door closes, the other opens. And as much as it hurts, the moment you come out from the pain and suffering you realize that  you have much more to go through in life. And yes, I am much happier these days. Smile at your weakest moment, it is the easiest cure.